Booty Meat
by YouSentMeFlying
Summary: Jake deals with his sexual frustration towards the love of his life, and his parents are only making it all the more difficult.


**Writer's block sucks! So yes, this is basically just a parody fic that I chose to work on to try to pass this damn block. Don't judge me; I already know I'm abnormal. :)**

_Where's the chicken? _Jake thought to himself while his upper body was stuffed into the cool refrigerator. The summer heat was overwhelming, and after finishing a handyman job up at the Dot, he needed to get some food into his stomach before he starved. He didn't mind the cold radiation beating out onto his sweaty bare chest as he dug around looking for what he so desperately needed.

Jake would always have a couple bites (or helpings) of dark meat after a long day of using his hands – there was just something about all that chicken that made him feel good inside. Perhaps it was the juices that exploded into his mouth, sending his taste buds into a complete heaven as he devoured the sweet nourishment. If it were legal, Jake would unquestionably marry the love of his life, which was clearly chicken.

"Aha!" He exclaimed happily, reaching over the plate full of untouched fries to retrieve his cold portion of delight. His mouth watered at just the sight of it, forcing him to licks his lips in anticipation. He adored this food so much, particularly the legs. Oh fuck, he treasured those thick legs – those legs in which he could run his fingers down ever so smoothly at the same time as he dreamed of what he would do to them. Jake could already picture his tongue extending seductively, wrapping itself around the base of the skin, only to rip off that greasy meat with his sharp, pointy teeth. He couldn't bear to wait any longer to get that enjoyable taste in his mouth once again.

He speedily slammed the refrigerator door shut to make his way over to the dining room table where he set down the plate; he was almost drowning in his own drool, just waiting for what he was about to consume. "Oh, come to daddy," he whimpered as he extended his right hand to grasp the edge of the leg between his palm. It was cold and hard against his fingers, but he didn't mind it much; he took a bite and moaned loudly. "Fuck, you taste so good. Mmmm." His lips smacked together in delight, and he finally swallowed down the first bite.

Jake's heart was breaking each time he chewed more and more off of the constructed bone – he hated seeing such a striking soul go to waste… but at the same time, he rejoiced at the feeling of it being inside him. It filled him up with such pleasure that he felt the need to scream, and he just did that. "I can't live without you, my sweet, sweet chicken! Oh!" his mouth was full, which of course made his voice muffled, but he didn't care – he wanted the entire world to know how much he loved chicken.

Suddenly, loud giggles coming from the stairway made his head snap up – _who dared to interrupt his sexy time?_

"My butt!" Helen hooted, shooting her dominant hand toward Glen's naked ass, which caused a burning feeling to build on his furry, pale cheek.

"It's mine! I own it!" Glen snickered along with her. "It's on my body, so you can't have it."

They'd just gotten out of the shower together after having the greatest sexual experience of both of their lives, and they were in such a great mood that they wanted everyone to be jealous of them. They didn't even mind the fact that Jake almost threw up his beloved chicken at the sight of his dad's ass.

Helen's head darted down, and she stretched out her jaw to sink her teeth into the same cheek she'd just spanked moments ago. "Now it's mine," she declared. "I stamped it so it's mine." He placed a small kiss on Glen's rear.

Jakes mouth gaped open; he dropped his leg down on the glass plate noisily. He couldn't wait until Clare came home from studying at Imogen's house so he could catch a glimpse at her flawless body; just the way his chicken was tempting him, and now his parents getting sexual in the living room made his pants stiffen.

"Can't argue with that," Glen nodded his head and slid into the kitchen, finally slipping on a pair of Fruit of the Loom underpants. "What a great day it's been!" he cheered.


End file.
